And here I lie, procrastinate,
Try not to think, my mental state,
It starts to clear, an empty slate,
Cannot be saved, it’s far too late,
I’m sleeping now in fits and spurts,
I’m tired now, my eyes might burst,
Exhausted now, it’s just the worst,
I feel the pain, I feel the hurt,
My beating heart, vitality,
Gave all for you, all I could be,
We could have worked, why can’t you see?
Your ignorance, it’s killing me,
I stressed for you, you were my strife,
I cared for you, you were my life,
I strived to be, to be all right,
To make it through, to see the light,
So now I lie, will try to sleep,
Try not to think,
Soft pinks I can't deny.
They part in a smile,
Shy and cute, and I smile back.
Entranced by your stare,
your beautiful eyes,
so clear and soft.
I blow you a kiss.
You blow one back,
and make a weird face.
We both laugh suddenly,
then it gets quiet.
The silence lingers on,
but we don't mind.
Not a bad silence,
but a content one.
I'm awake with a thrill,
I feel so alive.
I've never felt this way before...
I've never felt closer in my life.
The most comfortable I've ever been...
with anybody,
as long as I can recall.
Nothing held back.
Everything bared.
Yet no judgement here,
just me and you,
never been happier,
haven'
And here I lie, procrastinate,
Try not to think, my mental state,
It starts to clear, an empty slate,
Cannot be saved, it’s far too late,
I’m sleeping now in fits and spurts,
I’m tired now, my eyes might burst,
Exhausted now, it’s just the worst,
I feel the pain, I feel the hurt,
My beating heart, vitality,
Gave all for you, all I could be,
We could have worked, why can’t you see?
Your ignorance, it’s killing me,
I stressed for you, you were my strife,
I cared for you, you were my life,
I strived to be, to be all right,
To make it through, to see the light,
So now I lie, will try to sleep,
Try not to think,
Soft pinks I can't deny.
They part in a smile,
Shy and cute, and I smile back.
Entranced by your stare,
your beautiful eyes,
so clear and soft.
I blow you a kiss.
You blow one back,
and make a weird face.
We both laugh suddenly,
then it gets quiet.
The silence lingers on,
but we don't mind.
Not a bad silence,
but a content one.
I'm awake with a thrill,
I feel so alive.
I've never felt this way before...
I've never felt closer in my life.
The most comfortable I've ever been...
with anybody,
as long as I can recall.
Nothing held back.
Everything bared.
Yet no judgement here,
just me and you,
never been happier,
haven'
Reading back through my old journal posts here, I feel as if I'm unearthing a time capsule of sorts. As time continues to march onward and I get older and older (coming closer to 30 with every passing year), I lose the connection I had with my past, and specifically with who I was when I was semi-active in this community. In the strangest way possible, being able to go back and revisit my journal entries has been rewarding - it's allowed me, in a sense, to preserve my thoughts and worries from five years or more years ago, to understand who I used to be, and to see how far I've come since then.
Since 2013 I have not updated my deviantArt, as
It's been a very hectic few months, and I've got a quite a bit to update for you guys.
First off, I made it. I graduated, got my diploma, that was cool.
I haven't done a single thing with that history degree (don't get one folks, not unless you're really serious about history). But lemme tell you why.
The past few months, I'd been working 40 hours a week (a summer job that I've worked the past few years, good pay and decent work), whilst at the same time learning programming from my friend. I started off with HTML (which stands for HyperText MarkUp Language, the more you know), then went to PHP, then started learning some Java and Object-O
I graduate in 5 days. Saturday morning, I'm done.
That is beyond scary for me right now.
Figured I'd drop in after posting my new poem (I'm still reluctant to call it that), and give you guys an idea of what I'm working on.
I haven't drawn anything in quite some time. My old phone broke over a year ago, so I'm no longer taking any real pictures. I might pick up a camera this summer and start doing that again though.
For me, my writing is picking up. I'm having a renewed interest in a few old story ideas I had rattling around. I've also gotten a good inspiration for a story that will hopefully be really good. I'm basing it on what's happen